Twins Story

Lastnight I had the twins at Target with me. We ran some errands in the Mall with the final stop being Target. I bought some new underwear, and the nice mom I am, I let the twins run the 6 toy aisles and let me know AGAIN what they want for Xmas and their Birthday. We were probably in the store for a total of an hour, with a bathroom break in between. Thank God for the restrooms back by the movies/books. Did you know there was one there?

The twins were in the basket of the cart together towards the end of our stay, and I was not paying attention to them. They were getting pretty wild and I was just focusing on what I needed. They were giggling but I didn’t think anything of it. I look down and Lilly has the undies around Charlie’s face, pulling on them like a horse, and he is sticking his head out the front of the cart yelling….ahhhhhhh He resembled a wrestler of some sort.

I am sure the people loved hearing me say. "Take those off your head, and sit down. Santa just saw that and he is mad."

Tips For A Worn Out Mom

1. Lower your standards for cleanliness and order.

2. Did that? Lower them even more.

3. Your house will never look like a magazine spread, period. Embrace that.

4. No matter how many baskets you buy to contain toys, they will always be visible. Embrace the Toys ‘R Us/ frat house-chic decor….

5. You can never have too many Popsicle in the freezer. How many bad moods have been fixed by a simple Popsicle?

6. If you can’t change them, change your perspective. For example I read recently – probably on Satan’s website Pinterest – that toothpaste is great for cleaning things like faucets. So now when I go into the bathroom every day and see toothpaste splatter all over the bathroom faucet I think about how my children have done half the chore of cleaning for me. How considerate of them! Then I wipe it off while cursing.

7. Those chores that no one ever wants to do. Decide if you would rather do it yourself, badger your child to it, or let it go. If you are confused about what to do, see Number 1 on this list.

8. No one cares what is stuffed under your child’s bed, why should you. Unless it is old food. In that case, you should get a dog.

9. If you have boys, your bathroom will always faintly stink like pee. Invest in some Febreeze and count down the days until they move out and you can go visit them and pee on their bathroom floor.

10. Don’t buy white furniture. Unless you enjoy screaming at your children every time they go near it.

11. However bad a situation might seem, one day it will be funny. I have a few for which I am eagerly awaiting for the funny to kick in. Any time now….

12. When your child is a young teen there will be nothing more embarrassing than your very existence. Use this to your advantage. Start planning early.

13. Do not paint any walls in your house with flat paint.

14. Be okay with letting your kids stumble sometimes. Whether that is turning in an assignment late because they didn’t do it or wearing an outfit so hideous you have trouble looking at them without laughing.

15. Noise cancelling headphones are great for blocking out whining, bickering and the endless episodes of Sponge Bob.

16. Socks do not have to match. Every day is Crazy Sock Day at my house, which is infinitely better than Crazy Mom Day.

17. The crayons will break and it is okay to throw them away rather then save them to make some sort of craft that involves the hair dryer. In fact, I give you permission to not feel guilty about all the crafts you know you will never do.

18. Your children will not die from eating the occasional hot dog or frozen pizza. And by occasional I mean more than you are really willing to admit.

19. If your children are driving you crazy arguing with each other, start an argument with them. Then your children will bond over their mutual hatred of you and be quiet.

20. Children do not appreciate top sheets or high thread counts. Buy neither.

21. Homework time is the worst time of the day. Help your kids and yourself by having a designated time and a quiet place to do homework. Preferably in a neighbor’s home.

22. Just say No to ironing.

23. Last, but not least, some chocolate and some really bad TV makes everything seem a little better.

(source: cafemom)

Friday Night Lights

We had a low key evening tonight at home. I realized with winter coming, there will be much more "Indoor" photos taken. I am not as good at indoor pictures, so I thought I would break out my flash and practice again.

The pile of blankets in the middle of the living room, is Lilly's new thing. She likes to build comfy "nests" for us to cozy into.

Lilly insisted on posing for a picture, and this was her stance. Looks like a little sassy Marilyn Monroe...geez.

Boy my kids are beauties!

Enjoy the weekend, folks!
-Mandy

Lilly's Dance Video Week #6

Click link below to view the video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loOSoTeJuGA



Enjoy your weekend, everyone!

24 Clear Signs You Are A Mom..

I came across this list today online, and I can relate to MANY of them!

24 Clear Signs You're a Mom

 

1. Instead of running from projectile vomit, you run towards it.

2. You do more in seven minutes than most people do all day.

3. Happy hour has become the 60 minutes between your kids going to bed and you going to bed.

4. A night of drinking requires more recovery time than minor surgery.

5. A glass of wine counts as a serving of fruit.

6. You have mini-therapy sessions all day long with anyone who will listen.

7. Going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.

8. You can experience heaven and hell at the same time.

9. You think of physical pain on three levels: pain, excruciating pain and stepping on a Lego.

10. You have the ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors in the middle of the night, two bedrooms away, while your husband snores next to you.

11. You'd rather have a 103 degree fever than watch one of your kids suffer with it.

12. You'd rather go to sleep than have sex.

13. A 15-minute shower with the door locked feels like a day at the spa.

14. Peeing with an audience is part of the daily routine.

15. You use baby wipes to clean up random spills and the dash of your car.

16. You lock yourself in the bathroom and pretend to have diarrhea just to get a break.

17. You love Moms' Night Out and Date Night with the Hubs.

18. You have a secret chocolate stash because frankly, you're sick of sharing.

19. You've been washing the same load of laundry for three days because you forgot to dry it.

20. You realize you've been watching Nick Jr. alone, even though your kids have been in bed for over 30 minutes.

21. You can cook dinner, breastfeed, talk on the phone and yell at the kids, all without breaking stride or missing any of the TV show you are watching.

22. You get more excited about the Mini Boden Catalogue than J Crew's.

23. You decide to stick with your car for the next decade because a) you can't afford to switch and b) you haven't found a car wash that knows how to get all the milk stains and glitter removed.

24. By the end of the day, brushing your teeth feels like a huge accomplishment.