Lastnight Lilly didn't sleep the best and she got up around 1 am for the restroom. I could tell she was having issues in there, so I went in to help her. We were both half asleep and looked like zombies. We had to change her underwear, and she started to fuss about what My Little Pony was on her undies. I was not in the mood to argue, so I quickly gave in. "Lilly if you wear these ones, I will lay in bed with you." She perked up, smiled and said.. "Until Morning Time?"
Now, the thought of sleeping with a Ninja from 1 am to morning did not sound ideal at all, to be honest it sounded like a bad dream. I quickly reverted back to "What would my mamma do?"..
As a child I played musical beds, and I remember very fondly of sleeping many nights on the floor RIGHT next to your side of the bed. I recall falling asleep with you, but I am pretty sure when Johnny Carson was over, you would slide me to the floor in hopes you could get a decent nights sleep.
Knowing how secure it felt to sleep with or by my mother, I nodded and agreed to stay in bed with Lilly until "Morning Time" We cuddled in, and of course the dog joined us as well. So that went well for about 30 minutes. Lilly fell fast asleep and then moved her elbow into my eye socket. I snuck back out of her bed and back into my bed. (Dog follows me back to my bed)
At 5 am, I hear Lilly shrieking my name. I am sure she awoke and was alarmed I did not stay with her until "Morning Time" I shot into her room and said... "I am here, I just went potty." I totally lied, but she fell for it. We went back to sleep until 6:30 am.
We are all looking for comfort this week, as we miss you terribly. I am still making coconut cream pies to fill an empty void. Each one is getting better and better. This week I bought 2% milk to improve the richness of the pudding. You always had 2% milk on hand, and Chris loved it!
Remember when we watched Grey's Anatomy and Izzy lost Denny? She copped by baking for hours and hours. I think she had 89 different loafs of banana bread and muffins spread across that kitchen counter. I thought it was a silly way to cope and now I think it is a great way to cope.
This week seems to be a bit harder than last week. I think last week was so busy that is was hard to sit and focus on what really happpened.
You are gone... I say that to myself in my head, and it just doesn't settle well. I know you we all carry a little bit of your legacy in us each day.
Love and Miss You,
Mandy
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