Dear Mom

Dear Mom,
     It was a week ago today that I headed down to Rochester, knowing it wouldn't be long. Your breathing started to become labored and you were sleeping a lot more. You were now non verbal and we couldn't understand you.  The thoughts that went through my head as I drove south were scattered and full of emotion. The radio was silent for most of the trip down. I just drove and let my mind wonder. I made some phone calls to people to keep me occupied when I just needed to talk.

The fight you fought, taught me so many lessons and changed me as a person from here on out. The twins do not get death very well, but I hope to revisit it with them down the road. I will keep you fresh in their minds so they never forget you. Lilly innocently stated.. "So now when we go to Grandma Pam's, it will just be Grandpa Glen?" after I told them you had passed away and are now in heaven. Of course analytic Charlie was not quite sure how he could "Still talk to Gma Pam."  We told him you would send the bugs for him to hunt. They are not quite here yet, as our snow just left. He checks under rocks everyday to see if the bugs have arrived.

I am so thankful your decline was fast and only about 6 days total. A week prior to you passing I had you out at the mall for your last shopping spree.  Your wish of dying at home was honored thanks to the selfless acts of kindness from many friends and family. You went peacefully in your sleep as you wished. God did not answer all my prayers this past year, but at the end he came through.

Your service was nothing short of amazing. Friends came from near and far to honor you. I felt depressed the next day, knowing how many short conversations I had with people.  I wish I had the time and money to pay each and everyone of them a personal visit over the next year. I will continue to thank them and try to stay in touch with as many of them as possible. The amount of flowers there were amazing, as I am sure you saw from your peephole from heaven.

The twins did not behave like typical 4 year olds that day either. Their behavior was SPECTACULAR, and I received compliments from so many people on how good they behaved. You and I both know they were probably partially scared of all the people. They rocked their cute outfits, too.

Charlie wore his first suit ever, to honor you. You were able to see a sneak peek of Lilly's outfit before you passed, and you love it! So that's that. It will be a week ago at 3:30 this coming morning that you took your last breath.  I miss you like crazy and I catch myself wanting to text you still. Pictures of the kids, us out to eat, the twins being silly, etc. I know this will not change, and I look forward to writing you letters for many years to come.

Love you,
Mandy