I'm Doing Fine

Hey Mamma,
     I haven't written you a letter on here in a very long time. I have been having the mental argument with myself on how..."how do I start out the blog, with such a long span of time in between?"  Today, I just told myself, who cares start writing and you just go from there. Don't feel like you owe an explanation or some incredibly well written entry. So here I am. You are in my thoughts just as much as you were 6 months ago. I think about you during happy times, sad times, funny times, scary times, so basically..ALL THE TIME.

     We sure do miss you here, but we are getting along. You would be very proud of all of us. Charlie and Lilly are thriving in school and are halfway through 1st grade already. I know you are getting a kick out of me trying to handle the ups and downs of parenting. I really miss calling you with stories about Charlie and Lilly. They will say or do things, and my first reaction is "You can't make this shit up!"

     Lilly knows everything and will let you know that. She acts like she is 15 years old, and loves to hang out in her room like a teenager. She is loud when in large crowds so she can be heard. Her feelings are hurt very easily.  She is a very good listener at school, and she is a hoarder. Her room needs a monthly sweep from me, just so we don't get mice up in here.  She loves to do crafts.

Charlie asks the best questions, and is always thinking. He is a social butterfly at school and has trouble paying attention if he is by his friends.  He is a mamma's boy, and hangs out in bed with me while I watch TV most evenings. Does this remind you of someone?  Lastnight Charlie asked me the following questions:

1. What happens if a poisonous snake bites his tongue?
2. Is an Adam's Apple Red?
3. Do only Men have Adam's apples? I think I saw one on Maya! (Laugh Hard)

Today while watching the end of Good Morning America, there was a new song on. It really hit home. It is called "I'm Doing Fine"

My 2 favorite lines:

1. I'm doing fine enough to know that everyone's a little broken
2. For the first time, in a long time, I'm doing fine

Link to Song:



                                                           "I'm Doing Fine"

Daddy got sober, Mama got his best friend
I've cut down crying to every other weekend
Thanks for asking how I've been
I've gotten to good at hiding it within
I'm okay, things are great but the truth is
Yeah, the truth is

I'm doing fine enough to know that everyone's a little broken
Fine enough to learn that hearts are best when they're wide open
I still got fear inside of me
I'm not okay but I'm gonna be alright
For the first time in a long time I'm doing fine
I'm doing fine

Daddy signed the papers the day I turned 19
Mama drove north to find a new beginning
I blamed God I blamed myself
Then I fell on my knees and prayed like hell
It's funny how a touch of grace gives you healing
Yeah, I'm healing

I'm doing fine enough to know that everyone's a little broken
Fine enough to learn that hearts are best when they're wide open
I still got fear inside of me
I'm not okay but I'm gonna be alright
For the first time in a long time I'm doing fine
I'm doing fine

Oh these growing pains well I wish they'd go away
But I guess you can't be free without a fight

I'm doing fine enough to know that everyone's a little broken
Fine enough to learn that hearts are best when they're wide open
I still got fear inside of me
I'm not okay but I'm gonna be alright
For the first time in a long, long time I'm doing fine
I'm doing fine

Daddy got sober, Mama got his best friend
But I'm doing fine, yeah

Music helps me so much, Mamma! Miss you, love you,

Mando